#OctPoWriMo Day 6-Following Desire

 I'm not exactly sure what my dreams and desires are anymore. They have changed so much over the years. This year in particular has completely pushed me into short-term plans rather than acting on any desires I might have. As to following desire all I can say is that the one I am currently trying to achieve is simply to get through this challenge. Baby steps are all I can manage right now and that's enough for me. So, while I did not write on following desire, I did write on having the opportunity to do so. I hope you are managing to follow your dreams and desires and/or will be given many opportunities to achieve them!

Capital Gains

By Jessica Kay

 

Hopes and expectation

Rarely stand the duration

Of truth’s reality

And so brings frustration.

 

In actuality

We bargain a plea

That life grants us one request,

This one idiosyncrasy,

 

That this, our bequest,

Is given, and addressed,

An opportunity, and maybe a second chance,

To reach our dreams and, in them, invest.

#OctPoWriMo Day 5-Creating From the Heart

Creating from the heart is not where I went with Day 5's poem. Instead I thought about the word "create" and its definition while also thinking about the myriad ways we create. Again, no poetic form for this one.

Creativity

By Jessica Kay

 

Synonyms:

build

              (foundations, relationships, bridges)

conceive

              (ideas, thoughts, life)

actualize

              (thoughts/emotions/actions)

 

 

hatch

              (plans)

fabricate

              (lies and deceptions)

institute

              (decrees, orders, decisions)

to bring into being

              (order or chaos)

 

imagine

              (a new way of being)

discover

              (new life and new civilizations) J

shape

              (humankind into a kinder, more compassionate being)

#OctPoWriMo Day 4-Falling

I've got nothing to add to today's prompt which is to write about falling. I am going to simply let my words speak. And no form as I'm just finding it too difficult to deal with today.

Leap of Faith

By Jessica Kay

 

I feel there is nothing in falling,

I am weightless, perhaps

But there is no fear;

 

Fear came before I took the leap,

Not knowing if I’d fly or die-

Fearless now am I

 

As the air rushes around my body

And I still breathe,

Though the ground rushes closer,

 

My options dwindle,

And the truth reveals itself.

#OCtPoWriMo Day 3-Beauty In Chaos

 Day 3 prompt gave me anxiety. I'm not good artistically speaking and I feel I'm at a disadvantage when compared to others. This is why I've put this prompt off until today. I'm just not happy if I don't have clear guidelines or boundaries. An interesting thing if you consider that I have written poetry since I was 13. I've always written in whatever felt "right" to me, and I never considered poetic forms unless I had to use them in school. 

Still, what with the pandemic and quarantine, I did what many people did and tried to use the time to learn something new. What did I choose? Get ready for some more irony...I chose watercolors. Yeah. One of the more chaotic mediums. *shaking my head* Go figure. Even better, one of the first lessons I chose on YouTube was making splotchy tie-dye birds. I am not even kidding. Chaos on top of chaos. But it was fun and turned out so much better than I thought it would. Now I make them all the time because they are so easy to do.

Unfortunately, that's pretty much what I've stuck to. So I turned to drawing but I ended up frustrated and decided coloring books are easier. Incredibly, using colored pencils in detailed coloring books for adults gave me the order I wanted. And yet...

I still feel at a disadvantage. But I'm not giving up. I try and try and try again, and maybe someday I will realize that the disadvantage is all in my head. 

But I definitely see the beauty inherent in just letting things go and do as they will. It creates some amazing things.

So here is my poem based on the watercolors I did today. 

1st Painting

2nd Painting

Final Painting

Beauty Through Chaos

By Jessica Kay

 

Blowing through straws

              Creates random splotches

Frustration abounds and I can’t get past

 

The smudges and blotches to see

Anything but muddy pools and

              Ink stains

 

Even when

random shapes are let loose

                                           The light seems lost within them

              Even when I try to bring it out with metallic paint

Random             ness      is            not        my         favorite

 

Give me order and patterns

For that’s where I feel

Whole and

Safe and

Secure.