#OCtPoWriMo Day 3-Beauty In Chaos

 Day 3 prompt gave me anxiety. I'm not good artistically speaking and I feel I'm at a disadvantage when compared to others. This is why I've put this prompt off until today. I'm just not happy if I don't have clear guidelines or boundaries. An interesting thing if you consider that I have written poetry since I was 13. I've always written in whatever felt "right" to me, and I never considered poetic forms unless I had to use them in school. 

Still, what with the pandemic and quarantine, I did what many people did and tried to use the time to learn something new. What did I choose? Get ready for some more irony...I chose watercolors. Yeah. One of the more chaotic mediums. *shaking my head* Go figure. Even better, one of the first lessons I chose on YouTube was making splotchy tie-dye birds. I am not even kidding. Chaos on top of chaos. But it was fun and turned out so much better than I thought it would. Now I make them all the time because they are so easy to do.

Unfortunately, that's pretty much what I've stuck to. So I turned to drawing but I ended up frustrated and decided coloring books are easier. Incredibly, using colored pencils in detailed coloring books for adults gave me the order I wanted. And yet...

I still feel at a disadvantage. But I'm not giving up. I try and try and try again, and maybe someday I will realize that the disadvantage is all in my head. 

But I definitely see the beauty inherent in just letting things go and do as they will. It creates some amazing things.

So here is my poem based on the watercolors I did today. 

1st Painting

2nd Painting

Final Painting

Beauty Through Chaos

By Jessica Kay

 

Blowing through straws

              Creates random splotches

Frustration abounds and I can’t get past

 

The smudges and blotches to see

Anything but muddy pools and

              Ink stains

 

Even when

random shapes are let loose

                                           The light seems lost within them

              Even when I try to bring it out with metallic paint

Random             ness      is            not        my         favorite

 

Give me order and patterns

For that’s where I feel

Whole and

Safe and

Secure.